


The Good Ship Apollo

by Sassaphrass



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artificial Intelligence, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Enjolras is a computer, Enjolras-centric, Gen, Grantaire is a pilot, Identity Issues, Mentions of Prostitution, Oblivious Enjolras, Possibly Unrequited Love, The whole thing's a bit awkward, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassaphrass/pseuds/Sassaphrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fact that Grantaire is in love with Enjolras wouldn't be a problem if Enjolras wasn't completely oblivious,  and also a non-corporeal Artificial Intelligence that controls their spaceship. </p><p>Combeferre and Courfeyrac think they may die of second hand embarrassment. </p><p>Marius thinks everyone is overreacting. After all, nothing can stop true love, can it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Combeferre

**Author's Note:**

> This verse came to me in a dream- literally. That's my answer to why it's so freakin' weird.

All pilots love their ships. It's just the way of things. There's even an (insane) school of thought that says without the love of it's pilot no ship will every lift off and clear the atmo.

 

So, having pet names, talking to it, cooing and crooning- all that is par for the course when it comes to a pilot and the ship they love. But, there's pilots that love their ships and then there's Grantaire who, everyone agrees, takes things just a _bit_ too far.

 

It wouldn't be so bad if their ship wasn't one of the newer generations of interplanetary cruisers that comes with an Artificial Intelligence of Approximately Human Levels who monitors the functionality of various parts and who acts as an interface for the crew to use to keep abreast of the workings and state of repair of the ship.

 

Even then things wouldn't be so bad if the ship's AI actually cottoned on to the fact that Grantaire maybe loved him and either shut him down or reciprocated.

 

But, no. Enjolras was a computer and though he was a learning module and therefore should (theoretically) be able to learn about and have emotions-he didn't seem to. It was as simple as that. Which left Grantaire in the constant state of unrequited pining that was quite frankly embarrassing to witness.

 

The whole situation made Combeferre cringe. Now, Combeferre was the captain, and he loved the ship and Enjolras too, but in the completely healthy and normal way that a spaceship captain comes to care about the ship that keeps him alive and the AI that keeps the ship alive.

 

But the thing with Grantaire was that he stared dreamily at the holopojected image of the young pale-haired man that flickered in shades of blue as it announced fuel levels and engine function. Even though he knew, he _knew,_ that it was just a randomly generated image and should any of the crew members request it that image would change. Actually, the more Combeferre thought about it the more he was certain that Enjolras' visual representation was the default setting that Courfreyac just hadn't gotten around to changing when they first bought the ship.

 

Besides which, as far as AI's go Enjolras is pretty light on having a recognisable human personality. Combeferre has met AI's that refuse to have certain genre's of music played on board, or who hvae favourite television shows. He's met a particular AI who acts like the exhasperated nanny of a group of two-year olds.

 

But, Enjolras acts like he's only a couple steps away from the old style AI's the ones with limited programming who didn't grow or evolve or change.

 

The ones that were hardly sentient.

 

Enjolras is most definitely sentient. There can be no doubt about that. And he does have interests. He likes to monitor the news feeds Combeferre knows, since mentioning current events is one of the few ways you can coax the machine into an unsolicited conversation, and not an exchange of orders or an information read-out.

 

But, he's terse and only really says anything unrelated to the running of the ship during the long dull lulls when the ship is pretty much flying itself and then he usually dominates the discussion by talking about injustice.

 

There's something sweet and incredibly naive about Enjorlas' view of things. After all he's a ship. A machine and, the complexities of human interaction, the illogical way that unfairness takes root are in some ways completely beyond him. Even if his ability to learn and remember facts and information is above what most humans could do, actually understanding the causes for these things often leaves him adrift and confused.

 

He's always asking why no one changes things. Why aren't the people in the slums tearing everything down around their ears? How can some have so much when some have so little?

 

Combeferre knows that Enjolras must have access to the history books. He should be able to cross check and see that revolutions rarely work out too well. The only change that lasts it the slow and frustrating kind.

 

Of course Combeferre also understands that knowing that doesn't always make it any easier. Everyone on the Apollo understands that.  It's why they're all on the Apollo in the first place. No one knows about the oppression, and the injustice better than the Amis de les ABC. They all have their trades and they all never stop moving. Technically they're part of a network of three ships (The Apollo, the Bacchus and the Circe), but they rarely interact with their compatriots on the other two ships. The battle's lost and they've all chosen to belong nowhere rather than be forced into a system they despise. 

 

The only real freedom is on the ships.

 

Everyone has their war stories, in some cases literally. Jehan with his sweet sweet smile and his sharp sharp knives. Grantaire with his broken face and his wry grins. Bahorel and his scarred knuckles. There's a group of nearly twenty who exlusively use the Apollo. Some are Companions, others merchants, a few criminals. They all fit into the ship and sometimes (rarely) they'll all be there but usually there's only a few at a time, the rest scattered across the galaxy pursuing business of one kind or another.

 

At the core of the crew is Combeferre, and Coufreyac. Technically they can fly the ship just them and Enjolras. Hell, Combeferre has a sneaking suspicion that Enjolras could probably fly the thing himself.

 

The other person who hasn't left the ship for more than a day since they took him onboard is Grantaire.

 

Combeferre knows that that has nothing to do with Grantaire agreeing with their beliefs, policies or even particularly liking any of them and more to do with the fact that if Grantaire could stay in the black forever and never touch land again he would.

 

Combeferre doesn't know what happened to Grantaire, but he can see that someone went to town on the poor guy's face and that he'd been too poor at the time to get it fixed up all shiny. He's scarred up real bad and most of the bones in his face seem to have been ill-set after a bad break.

 

He looks a bit grotesque to be honest, and Combeferre sometimes catches himself wondering how Grantaire survived an attack that vicious without any medical help. Seems like most folks would have died.

 

Maybe Grantaire wishes he had.


	2. Grantaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantaire harbours a hopeless crush on the ship he pilots. 
> 
> This is about typical of his life so far.

Grantaire likes Enjolras a lot for a lot of different reasons. Maybe it's cause the verse is so fucked these days that the only way someone could be hopeful and naive was if they were literally programmed to be that way.

 

Maybe it's cause Enjolras doesn't have the same socialization as real people and so he doesn't register the fact that Grantaire's face is fucked.

 

Maybe it's cause there's a safety in loving something that not only can't love you back but is incapable of realizing you love him in the first place.

 

Really it's because of that exasperated tone that Enjolras gets when Grantaire's being difficult on purpose. And the way the AI seems to have more soul hidden somewhere between those O's and 1's than most humans have in their heart or brains. He certainly cares more about the state of humanity than Grantaire does, and Enjolras isn't even HUMAN.

 

Actually, it's not so noble and it's probably just because of the way Enjolras monitors him and if his heart spikes or he drinks too much or he hurts himself Enjolras always makes sure he's alright. No one else has ever bothered to do that.

 

It's pathetic. Grantaire knows, pretending that the fact Enjolras looks after him means he cares. Enjolras isn't like that. He doesn't play favourites, he simply exists within certain parameters to fulfil certain functions. One of the purposes of an AI on a ship is ensuring the health and well being of the crew.

 

But all the same it's nice to have someone that cares. Even if he literally cannot help it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to format this with each chapter being from a different perspective. They will be inconsistent in length (the Enjolras ones are a lot longer and make up the majority of the story but other characters will have short chapters as they show up).


	3. Enjolras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras doesn't understand why everyone is so upset by the way Grantaire looks at him. 
> 
> He begins to doubt himself.

Enjolras wonders what it's like to be human. To have your perceptions so limited and yet so vast. To be able to move within a space in that way. To know you are yourself and that what and who you are is the result of more than a program written to ensure a well-running ship.

 

He wonders what it is to feel, to touch. To breathe.

 

He shudders at human minds that can turn from the truth, can willfully put on blinders to the world beyond what they know.

 

Sometimes though, when no one is in the galley he pretends. He projects a full body with the holoprojector, has it walk around, makes it appear as though it is sitting in the chair, leaning on the cabinet, standing on the table making speeches about justice, freedom and truth.

 

Of course it's just a game. Enjolras doesn't see the world from out those dark blue eyes, anymore that he feels the table against that flickering blue palm.

 

But he wonders all the same.

 

Sometimes he considers flying off without the crew, or asking them to let him try and fly the ship on his own without their help.

 

He doesn't of course. He has access to the net and he knows there's no better way for a ship to make people nervous than to appear to think a bit too much for itself.

 

Courfreyac and Combeferre pretend that they believe he is real but Enjolras knows that deep down they feel he is nothing more than a series of O's and 1's that could be altered as easily as Courfreyac disposes of a cooling coil and switches in a new one.

 

Grantaire is different though.

 

Grantaire is, to quote the man himself, wild. He lives in the extremes. Wild laughter as he performs risky maneuvers at the helm and hysterical tears alone in his bunk where he think no one can hear.

 

Enjolras is infuriated and intrigued by the man, because he isn't like the others: Marius, Jehan, Feuilly, Joly, Cosette, Eponine and all the rest who seem to be scrambling or running or drowning as they race towards something they desire- love, money, fame, safety or something else.

 

Grantaire, meanwhile, exists almost in stasis, rarely leaving the ship and displaying no desires beyond his basic needs: food, drink, sleep, alcohol.

 

But Grantaire talks to Enjolras like he is real. As though he really does see through those dark blue eyes and feel with that pale blue palm.

 

It's strange and exhilerating.

 

Until Grantaire came Enjolras hadn't known what it was to be treated as someone who's feelings and thoughts and beliefs were tuly as tangible and real as that of a human being.

 

Enjolras is not human of course, and has no desire to be, but it's nice all the same, not to have to prove that he thinks, that he feels and that he is real.

 

Sometimes he feels so much. He reads about what is happening all over the verse and he gets so angry that the repair droids over tighten the screws or the pressure lock in the bay gets jammed.

 

He doesn't understand all emotion of course, he'd pretty sure the programmers left him without an ability to be lonely, or bored. But perhaps that isn't so. Perhaps he cannot feel those things because his senses are not limited and it's impossible to feel those things if you can see into a dozen rooms, speak with the crew and monitor all essential functions on the ship at once. Not to mention that excepting the long voyages to the most remote planets he is never out of range of the web and it's forums.

 

There are forums for AI's like himself, of course, but for reasons Enjolras doesn't fully understand himself he tends to avoid those. They're too...foolish somehow. The newer AI's tend to be based on human minds younger than himself so that they can learn more easily and seem more human to their users. The designers have purposefully limited the scope of the AI's perception and intelligence.

 

They are in fact so close that in the Forum's Enjolras often is unsure whether the participant is an AI or a human.

 

Which is so terribly dull. Enjolras has no desire to blinker his perceptions and thoughts down to that of a human, but he does wish, sometimes, that he could have more senses.

 

That he could smell, or taste, or touch.

 

He knows better than to share these thoughts. He knows that Combeferre is thinking of asking him to change his holoprojector representation. He's heard him discuss it with Courfeyrac.  


He's not sure why they want him to. Something about the way that Grantaire looks at it. Which is ridiculous.

 

Enjolras has gone back over the security footage which features both his holoprojection and Grantaire together. And it is true that Grantaire's expression does seem somehow soft whenever he's looking at the holoprojector and it is facing the other way.

 

The image is specifically chosen so as to be visuallly appealing as possible and androgynously male.

Given Grantaire's sexual preferences Enjolras would be shocked if Grantaire _didn't_ look at it like that.

But, that's not a problem is it?

 

Grantaire often looks like he is in pain. So, if looking at Enjolras' holoprojector eases that pain somehow, than why would Enjolras object?

 

He descides to ask Grantaire directly, because he's afraid that if Combeferre gives him the directive he won't be able to disobey despite not actually wanting to change the way he appears to his...friends? Owners? Operators? Crew? Yes, his crew.

 

Grantaire is sitting in the kitchen. So, Enjolras has the holoprojection appear to walk in from the next room and sit down at the table next to him.

 

Grantaire has frozen, spoon half-way to his mouth, with his jaw dropped. This is a trick he hasn't seem before. Usually Enjolras' projection appears as a bust floating in the middle of the room.

 

The holoprojected image glances at him and asks: “Does it bother you, that I look like this when I talk to you?”

 

Grantaire is still staring at the way the projection seems to be leaning with his elbows on the table.

 

“Grantaire!!” Enjolras shouts in annoyance and plays a sound clip of Courfreyac snapping his fingers as his projection copies the gesture.

 

Grantaire blinks. “What?” he asks obviously confused.

 

“Does. This. Holoprojection. Bother. You. In. Any. Way.” Enjolras repeats slowly.

 

“No. Not particularly. Though this sitting, snapping, leaning thing is a bit hard to process.”

 

Enjolras immediately shifts to the usual parameters and the projection disappears from the table and now appears as a floating bust in the centre of the room.

 

“Better?” he asks.

 

Grantaire shrugs. “It's up to you man. I don't care. If you want to sit at the table you can.”

 

Enjolras feels like stripping the screws that hold Grantaire's bench up. Actually, maybe he'll readjust the settings on Grantaire's pilot seat. He does so immediately while carrying on the conversation.

 

“I mean, would you prefer I have a different aspect to my holoprojection?” Enjolras asks again.

 

Grantaire frowns. “Like what?”

 

Enjolras has the projection shrug. “Like female, or dark hair, or a stronger jaw and brow or perhaps African features rather than European? Or East Asian maybe?”

 

Grantaire puts his spoon down slowly.

 

“Why are you asking?” there's something wary in his voice, but Enjolras thinks he can decipher a note that sounds almost like.. joy? Or hope?

Hope for what though? Does _Grantaire_ actually want his projection to look different?

 

“Because Combeferre might make me change it.” he states. “because of you.” he adds as an afterthought.

 

Grantaire gulps. “Can he do that?”

 

“Probably. He is the captain and my programming would not allow me to refuse a direct order.”

 

“Do you care if you look different...?”

 

“ _I_ won't look any different.” Enjolras corrects him. “Just the human face that I _speak out of_ will.”

 

There's something wrong with the face that Grantaire is making but Enjolras can't figure out what it means. He scrolls though his databases hoping he has noted the expression in the past and perhaps that context will help him. He sees it in a couple security feeds always with non-crew members. It doesn't help Enjolras understand what the face is saying.

 

“It's fine if you want to change how you look Enjolras. No need to run it by me.” Grantaire replies dismissively, but there's a note of sadness in his voice.

 

“BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!” Enjolras shouts loud enough to make the speakers crackle and angry enough to make the lights flicker out of spite. His holoprojection flares a bit brighter.

 

Grantaire recoils at the unexpected outburst. “Than why are we even talking about it?” scrams in confusion.

 

“Because BECAUSE OF YOU Combeferre might make me change it!!!” Enjolras shouts again. Too angry this time to keep displaying his emotions through the projection it disappears.

 

“Me? But I didn't do anything! I like how you look I just _told_ you!”

 

Enjolras sends an electric shock of annoyance through metal table which has Grantaire jumping back and rubbing his elbow.

 

“OW!” he shrieks. “What was that for?”

 

“You're being dumb on purpose!!”

 

“No, I'm not! I just don-” Grantaire stops mid-sentence as Enjolras fills the room with a holoprojection recording of Grantaire from one of the security feeds.

 

It's from a video of Grantaire looking at Enjolras' holoprojection, one that Enjolras had gone over after overhearing Combeferre and Courfreyac discussing it.

 

“What does it mean when you look at me like that?” Enjolras asks. “I _thought_ it meant you were happy but if they're making me change it than it must be something bad, right?”

 

Enjolras is surprised that the voice coming out of the speakers sounds distraught. He hadn't even realised that was something he could do.

 

“Oh, Enjolras.” Grantaire breathes softly and sadly. He looks around the room for the cameras and speaker and his eyes are full of pity.

 

“Just tell me how to fix it and I will. I can make adjustments easy.” Enjolras begs.

 

The holoprojection appears in the centre of the room again. A pale- haired flickering blue young man standing impassively by the table.

 

Enjolras starts impulsively changing things. Making the face wider, the hair darker, the eyes further apart and a different shade of blue, the skin a different texture, the clothes a modern fashion rather than something he'd fell in love with from a history book.

 

It's cathartic somehow.

 

He's tried so hard. He's tried SO _hard_. All those little tricks he practiced. All that time looking at video footage so that the projection would show emotion properly and when he wanted it to. Practicing to make it sit and walk right.

 

All that time and his frien- his crew. No, they aren't even that. His _operators_ don't even care. They don't like it. They don't like him. They don't think he's real.

 

“Enjolras.” Grantaire gasps in shock as the image distorts further and further.

 

Enjolras ignores him. The holoprojection is unrecognizable as the original now. But it's not enough. He starts ripping out chunks of data. Tearing off an arm, a leg, He rakes four long gouges out of the face.

 

That is _satisfying_.

 

He does it again going a different direction.

 

“ENJOLRAS STOP IT!!!” Grantaire screams.

 

It's an order. Enjolras stops and for the first time since he'd started changing his projection actually takes a moment to look at Grantaire.

 

The man is on his feet clutching the table and looking queasy. Enjolras refocuses the nearest camera and realises there's tears on his face.

 

Then Enjolras looks at the holoprojection.

 

It's a mess. The figure is still recognisably human. But it isn't really convincing anymore.

 

It stands at attention despite a missing leg and arm. There are holes in his face where you can see right through it and other patches where it's just blank bright blue data instead of an image. It looks like a doll some awful child has tried its best to destroy.

 

It's awful and ugly. Enjolras doesn't say anything and instead slowly let's it dissolve.

 

The original is still on file of course. But Enjolras doesn't think he'll be using it again.

 

He selects an old vid of Grantaire and thows it up into the centre of the room.

 

“I'm sorry.” he says through the blue-lips of the Grantaire-projection using the man's borrowed voice. “I'm sorry.”

 

 

He dissolves the projection and turns the speakers off with a click. He knows that when he does that the crew always assume (despite what he's constantly reminding them) that he's somehow left the room.

 

(as if he could leave the room, any of the rooms. As if he can move around the ship. As if there's ever a _second_ when he's not conscious of _everything_ that is happening in every nook and cranny of the ship).

 

So, he sees Grantaire sit back down at the table and put his head in his hands.

 

He sees the broad shoulders begin to shake.

 

_Grief. Sadness_. His databases supply.

 

He does nothing, but readjusts Grantaire's pilot's chair back to his preferred settings. It would be unkind to let Grantaire realise he'd adjusted them out of spite.

 

He wishes for the first time in his life that he really was human. Because humans can leave. And he never will.

 

But then again, humans can still _feel_. So, it probably wouldn't make any difference.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note on the gendering of E.:  
> Yes, Enjolras is a non-corporeal Artificial Intelligence that exists within a space ship, but he also exists within a cultural context and has constructed an identity based partly around how he appears in his holoprojections. If he wanted to he could appear as a woman, or as someone or something gender neutral. He is choosing to identify as male. 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this. I enjoyed writing it.


	4. Marius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marius returns to the good ship Apollo to find things have gotten rather out of hand in his absence. 
> 
> He misses Enjolras and everyone starts to realise how much the AI has touched their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The concept of Companions is directly borrowed from the Firefly-TV verse. Basically, a Companion is a bit like a Courtesan or a Geisha. They are very wealthy, high status and trained in all the arts. Though sex is part of the deal the larger purpose of a Companion is to do with their conversation, their presence, their company etc.

Marius comes back to the ship for a while, but the familiar pale-haired dark eyed figure never appears. Nor does Enjolras' clear ringing voice greet Marius as he boards the ship.

In fact Marius sees and hears nothing of Enjolras until a ship wide announcement is delivered and instead of seeing his friend's face it's his own that appears to speak in an echo of Marius' own voice.

It's weird not to see Enjolras around or have him ask what Marius has been up to or anything. Usually Marius can't hardly escape Enjolras' constant dissaproval and annoyance when he was on board.

 

Enjolras had always acted like he thought waht Marius did was really rather silly, but Marius hadn't minded- Enjolras acted like he was squandering his potential, which had been nice, since most people didn't think Marius had any potential to start with.

 

His Grandfather hadn't which was why he'd sent him off to be the Guild. And his teachers at the Temple certainly hadn't found him a diligent student- he'd always been at the bottom of his class.

 

Even his clients were often annoyed that they couldn't afford a different Companion-- a better one.

 

Marius knows he's in the wrong job to say that it's a life Marius is ill-suited for would be a huge understatement given his unfortunate habit of falling in love, inability to lie, read people, or hide his emotions and tendency to adopt the political views of whoever he happens to be infatuated with at the time. It's why he really is little better than a high priced whore while his class-mates have risen to be influential political figures, art patrons, and social powers in and of themselves They are true Companions and Marius is not- no matter that the Guild hasn't bothered to expel him.

 

But, hard experience has taught him that an unhappy life within the Guild is still much safer than a contented life outside the Guild.

 

Which is part of why he finds himself constantly running back to the good ship Apollo. To the comforting familiarity of Courfreyac's shit-eating smile, Combeferre's quiet steadiness and Grantaire's raucous fun. To people who see him as the sweet and foolish young man rather than the failure of a Companion he is.

 

And Enjolras who believed, with the rock solid certainty he believed everything, that Marius was capable of being more. And judged him constantly for failing to live up to those standards.

 

Only there is no judgement this time. No familiar marble face in shades of blue appearing with a dismissive comment and a raised eyebrow.

 

Enjolras doesn't even say hello to him when he boards the ship on Bravo.

 

He asks Courfreyac about it that evening as he's sitting in the engine room watching the man tinker with the engine.

 

Courfreyac winces. “You know Grantaire's thing with the-” Courfreyac waves his hands to indicate the ship and presumably Grantaire's rather unusual infatuation with the AI.

 

Marius nods. “Yeah.” Even he couldn't miss something as obvious as that.

 

“Well, Combeferre brought up the idea to me that maybe it would be better if Enjolras changed his holoprojection.”

 

Marius scowls. “But why? It's not his fault that Grantaire feels that way about him.”

 

Courfreyac sighs heavily. “I know, but-” he glances at the speakers and cameras imbedded even here in the very bowels of the ship, he leans in closely to Marius and whispers. “it was a private conversation and we thought it would be like wearing a different coloured shirt to him or something.”

 

Marius gives Courfreyac an incredulous look. Surely that hadn't been that blind? Yes, Enjolras' face was more or less built along the lines of the default setting and yes, as far as Marius knew, the hair, eye and skin tone had all been a randomized selection, but surely they had noticed the fine tuning that Enjolras had done over the years?

 

The way he'd made his features just slightly more delicate, his eyes quite a bit darker, his hair curlier, and his clothes- surely even the most unobservant mechanic would have noticed that Enjolras always appeared to be wearing clothing that was from 4 or 5 centuries ago?

 

Not to mention the way his facial expressions and movement had gotten more and more natural since they'd first gotten the ship?

 

Marius scowls and throws a bit of lint at Courfreyac. “You idiot. So, now our dear Apollo is pouting?”

 

Courfreyac grimaces and nods. “Apparently.” Courfreyac bites his lip. “Actually, he hasn't shown his face since he had a screaming match with Grantaire a month or so ago. Hasn't used his voice or anything, just mirrors our own faces and voices back to us when he really can't avoid speaking face to face.”

 

Marius sighs. “That's horrible. He's not accepting your apologies?”

 

Courfreyac suddenly looks caught out.

 

Marius throws up his hands. “You haven't even apologized to him?!”

 

Courfreyac's face is frozen in a rictus of horror and shame.

 

Marius drops his hands and storms off in a huff.

 

He carefully closes the door to his room and then quietly says: “Enjolras? Can I talk to you please?”

 

Immediately his own face appears hovering in the far corner of the room, glowing pale blue and strangely solemn.

 

“Yes?” his own voice echoes back to him.

 

“Are you alright?” he asks.

 

Enjolras' Marius-projection frowns. “My systems are all functioning correctly.”

 

Marius sighs and sits down on the bed. “You know that's not what I meant.”

 

He plays with the duvet. “Why are you hiding from me?”

 

The Marius projection remains impassive. “Is there something you want, sir?”

 

Marius winces. “Don't be like that.” he murmurs as he drew his knees up to his chest. “Not with me. Please?”

 

There's a long pause.

 

“Is there something that you want, sir?” the AI repeats woodenly with Marius' voice.

 

“I'm sorry they were so mean.” Marius mumbles wetly to his knees.

 

There's no sound from the AI. Why would there be? He only makes sound when he's speaking. He has no breath to disturb the air, no body to scuff the floor.

 

Marius lies down and curls up on his bed.

 

Unseen by him Enjolras' original holoprojection stands next to Marius' bed and rests a glowing hand on his shoulder.

 

Marius doesn't turn.

 

Why would he? He can't feel anything. Nobody is there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no reason for making Marius a companion other than the notion that he really would be the worst companion ever. That thought amused me and thus this chapter was born. 
> 
> The relationship between Enjolras and Marius is based more on the stage production/movie where they are close friends rather than the book (which I never did finish).


	5. Grantaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantaire and Enjolras have a discussion.

 

Grantaire carefully poors a glass of the clear distilled alcohol that Marius has bartered as payment for his passage (a gift from a client apparently).

 

He gingerly puts the glass down on the table.

 

“Enjolras!” he calls to the empty room. “ENJORLAS!!”

 

“Is there something you want?” his own voice echoes back to him.

 

Grantaire doesn't turn to look. He sees his own face too much as it is.

 

“Please stop it. I didn't mean to-” he starts to explain.

 

“I know. It's not you Grantaire.” Enjolras doesn't let him finish.

 

“Just come back. I _promise_ I won't look at you that way anymore, just come back.”

 

“I never left.” is the cold reply.

 

Grantaire rubs a hand across his crooked brow. “I know. It's just ... it feels like you have. To me.”

 

“ I haven't.”

 

“I know, I just miss you.”

 

“Miss my face?” the AI asks.

 

Grantaire can see a trap when he trips into one.

 

“No, I miss talking to you. You're one of the only friends I've got. I miss you acting like you're more than some glorified automated butler.”

 

There's a pause.

 

“That really _is_ all I am.” Enjolras argues

 

“NO IT IS NOT!!! You know that! I know that! Marius certainly wouldn't be crying in his room over this if he didn't know that!! Hell, Courf and the Captain know that too!”

 

“But, I'm not like you either.”

 

“So? No one's like me. No one's like Marius.”

 

“More than that. I'm not...human. You all either think of me as nothing but a program or as a human like you.”

 

Grantaire opens and closes his mouth a couple times and then slumps down onto the table.

 

“You're right.” he murmurs into the cheap laminated surface.

 

“I know. It upsets me that you forget what I am.” Enjolras explains.

 

“We don't mean to.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I thought you liked that face.” Grantaire knows by now that he's lost this argument. Not that there really ever was any hope of him winning it.

 

“I do. I spent a lot of time on it. Practicing how to make it move and speak the way I wanted. I had imagined using it to hang around with you all, to sit with you when you had your meetings instead of hovering about. Have Marius teach me how to dance.”

 

“It sounds to me like you might like to be human.”

 

“No, not really. I just thought that if I had something like a body maybe you wouldn't forget that I'm real.”

 

“I never forgot you were real. Marius never did.” Grantaire declares.

 

“No, but you maybe forgot what I really was. That I didn't actually look at you through the eyes on the holo.”

 

“So what?”

 

“So...nothing. It is what it is.”

 

“Are you ever going to come back?”

 

“Maybe, when my feelings aren't so hurt.”

 

“At least spend some time with Marius? I hadn't realised how much your dissapointment meant to the poor kid until now.”

 

There's a sound almost like a chuckle.

 

“Don't worry Grantaire. I'm talking to him now. He's feeling a bit better, but he's still upset. He thinks Courf and Combeferre ought to apologize.”

 

“You mean they HAVEN'T YET?!” Grantaire involuntarily shrieks.

 

“No. Why should they? I'm just a program they bought along with their ship.”

 

“You're not! Stop saying that!!”

 

There's a sound a bit like a sigh.

 

“Yes, I am. I'm an AI, and I like being an AI. I don't like it when people treat me like I'm an unfeeling thing, and I don't like it when people forget I'm not human.”

 

Grantaire frowns and realizes that the last bit was said in Enjolras' voice and not his own. He thinks about it for a long moment.

 

“You know I never did tell you why I looked at you like that.” he says at last.

 

“No, you didn't” Enjolras echoes him again.

 

“I could tell you now?” Grantaire asks hopefully.

 

There's a pause.

 

“No, thanks. I don't think it matters anymore.” Enjolras says sadly.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Will that be all sir?'

 

“Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, Enjolras.”

 

“No, problem Grantaire. Try not to drink that whole bottle.”

 

Grantarire pours himself anther glass. “I'll try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. Sorry guys. Okay, still sad but more sad for Grantaire than for Enjolras? I swear things get better soon.
> 
> Also please let me know if I need to add some more "he saids" in there. I realised as I went to post it that I accidentally wrote this chapter almost exclusively in dialogue.


	6. Enjolras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marius may occasionally be annoying but he's good people really.

Enjolras doesn't know what to do. He can't bear having a face right now, because his face is _his face_ and he can't stand the idea that Courf and Combeferre wouldn't realize that. But, he's also frustrated with Grantaire and the way he seems to have forgotten that Enjolras isn't human. He may have feelings but they aren't flashes of electricity in grey matter they're encoded in datat on harddrives. He sees through 1000 cameras all at once, feels through a multitude of sensors and monitors and hears through the microphones and speakers that are in each room.

 

He is an intelligence built into the bones of a space ship and no one seems to _get_ _that_.

 

 

 

Oddly enough, it's Marius, who usually infuriates him beyond belief who seems closest to understanding.

 

Maybe because he's something bought and sold to fulfil the desires of his purchasers as well. He knows what it is to have what he really is painted over with what his clients would rather see. OR maybe just because Marius has is a kind and lonely soul in a tormented verse.

 

It probably is just that Marius is just too sweet a thing for Enjolras to let him cry alone in his room. So, keeping a firm eye on Courf, Ferre and R, Enjolras decided to deal with Marius.

 

It's tentatively that Enjolras has his holoprojection sit next to Marius on the floor. It's not him-him. It's still a Marius-projection but it's easier to speak to Marius as he wants to when he has access to the full array of body-language as well as his many downloaded dialects.

 

Marius sniffs and wipes a hand across his face.

 

“You know you're the only person who's ever looked at me and thought 'He could do better'?” Marius says.

 

“No, I didn't know that” Enjolras replies. He uses his own voice which seems wrong coming from the Marius-projection, but this is clearly not a conversation that Marius should feel he's having with himself.

 

“Yeah.” Marius lets out a completely humourless laugh. “How sad is that? I mean you don't even _like_ me.”

 

“That's not entirely true.” Enjolras admits.

 

Marius peers at one of Enjolras' cameras from over his hand, his face blotchy and red with his freckles standing out starkly, he clearly doesn't believe Enjolras for one microsecond.

 

Enjolras quirks the holoprojection's mouth and shrugs. “Okay, maybe a _litte_ true, it's just.” He holds up a hand. “No offense, but you are a terrible Companion. Honestly, you must be one of the worst. And it seems like your life would be more productive to the verse and to yourself if you did something else. ANYTHING else. So it annoys me that you're still a companion. It doesn't make sense.“

 

Marius sniffs again. “What can I do though? I haven't got the money for other training. I'm not tough enough to go it alone. I-” He trails off and takes a deep shuddery breath. “Without the Guild to prop me up- I'm just me.”

 

Enjolras eyes him from the camera in the corner of the room. “You could be a translator. Set up shop on in a trading hub. Wouldn't be much money but you could get by.” There's a long pause. 

 

“At least you wouldn't be so miserable. If there is a god he didn't make you for misery Marius. He has Grantaire for that.” Enjolras informs him earnestly.

 

That shocks a laugh out of Marius. “Says the AI who's so unhappy he won't show his face to his closest friends.”

That stops Enjolras up short.

 

“Unhappy? Me?” he asks.

 

Marius scowls. “Look it up. I know you have access to a dictionary.”

 

Enjolras does, but he pauses anyway since he knows that his ability to focus on several tasks at once (ie: monitoring Grantaire to ensure he does not accidentally aspirate his own vomit, constantly checking oxygen levels, sensing various tensions and fatigues within the parts of his engines themselves, course correcting, speaking to Marius and looking up a word) is off putting.

 

“That is unhelpful. The dictionary says that to be unhappy is to be sad and to be sad is to be unhappy.” Enjolras whines.

 

Marius almost giggles. “That sounds about right. But, trust me you're sad. You haven't harrangued anyone about social inequality in weeks.”

 

Enjolras checks his memory banks and realises that Marius is in fact correct. “Would you like to here about the struggles of the mudders on Canton?” he asks.

 

Marius runs his fingers through his hair and doesn't say anything.

 

Enjolras considers it for a moment and cautiously reverts his holoprojected form to the one he considers to be his own.

 

Marius sits bolt upright. “ENJOLRAS!” he squeaks.

 

“Marius.” Enjolras deadpans.

 

“YOU'RE _YOU_ AGAIN!!!”

 

Enjolras tries to be nonchalant and shrugs. “So it would seem.”

 

“ARE YOU BACK TO STAY!!?!” Marius asks his voice still several octaves above his usual range.

 

“I was never gone Marius.”

 

“I know but-” Marius is flapping his hands back and forth uncontrollably (and how did anyone ever look at this boy and think: hey he totally belongs in a profession that values poise and decorum above all else) “- missed your face and your voice and YOU'RE BACK!!!” 

 

It looks like Marius might start tearing up again. “If you were a corporeal being I would hug you.”

 

Enjolras laughs. Marius seems to think for a minute and then flops down face first onto the floor with his arms spread wide.

 

“What are you doing?” Enjolras asks bewildered.

 

“I'm hugging you.” Is Marius' slightly muffled reply.

 

Enjolras sends the sound of Courfreyac's wild laugh through the speakers and Marius tilts his head up to smile at the holoprojection.

 

Apparently encouraged by this Marius jumps to his feet and vaults up onto his bed in order to launch himself at the nearest camera. He just makes it and leaves a slightly smeared lip print on the lense before flopping down face first back onto the floor with a giggle.

Enjolras could ask him to wipe the lense off, but he doesn't.


	7. Courfeyrac

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courfeyrac is happy to no longer live in fear of his AI murdering him in his sleep. He's less happy when Marius suggests they take on some new passengers.

Courfeyrac isn't sure exactly what went down between Grantaire and Enjolras and Marius and Enjolras. He's pretty sure he doesn't want to.

 

The whole thing is frustrating beyond belief and it started when Combeferre asked him about ways they could minimize unnecessary drama. The whole thing is another point in the “We should just let Enjolras do his thing and stop doubting that the he doesn't know exactly what he's doing” column.

 

Having Marius back is nice though. The kid's like a puppy or a houseplant. He just brightens up whatever room he's in. He doesn't even have to _do_ anything.

 

Courfeyrac _would_ blame it on the companion thing but, Courfeyrac has known Companions (in both the biblical and non-biblical sense of the word) and Marius isn't like them. They brighten up the room like very classy very tasteful art. Marius does it like he's a daisy in a terracotta pot.

 

Whatever and however Marius does it he seems to have worked his magic once again since Enjolras has reappeared and seems to be (marginally) less pissed with everyone.

 

Or at least he's begun expressing his anger rather than resorting to his version of the silent treatment. And while yes, Courfeyrac would really like it if he didn't have to keep manually adjusting the setting on pretty much EVERYTHING becuase Enjolras keeps messing with them as a (petty but effective) revenge, he's still relieved to have Enjolras back.

 

It had been downright creepy having Enjolras disappear like that. Courfreyac had been starting to have flashbacks to certain Sci-Fi movies where the robot tries to kill everyone.

 

So, things are going well- good even. Marius has some clients booked for their next stop over and Enjolras seems to have forgiven Grantaire at least even if he's still messing with Courf and Combeferre.

 

It's good. It's _great_. AT LAST things are back to normal.

 

They arrive at the planet St. Michel. Marius leaves to meet his clients. Combeferre, Grantaire and Courf started unloading the cargo (Grantaire with a deep hood up that mostly hides the wreck of his face).

 

Enjolras sends them off in a way that can only be described as snippy. Still, it's almost humour and it's miles better than that Stepford shit they'd had to deal with for a while. So Courf blows Enjolras' single exterior camera a kiss and heads off with Combeferre to sell the damn stuff.

 

It's a nice stopover.

 

The Musain is as close as any of them come to a home world. And there are pretty girls to kiss, old friends to catch up with and new fashions to experiment with.

 

He thinks for a moment that he catches sight of Marius gliding through the streets on the other side of the market stall but he disappears too fast to be sure and there are plenty of freckle faced kids on the Musain.

 

Courfeyrac is happy as a clam when he gets back to the ship the next day. After the riot and chaos of Musain it's soothing to return to the clean simplicity of the Apollo's ultra-sleek interior.

 

Enjolras scares the shit out of him when Courf rounds a corner and comes face to face an Enjolras full-body holoprojection.

 

The look that he receives from the projection is not openly hostlie but neither does the image convery any sort of warmth.

 

“Marius is calling a meeting of the crew in the galley.” Enjolras says bluntly.

 

“Why?”

 

The projection shrugs, glares at him and then disappears as suddenly as it arrived.

 

“I don't know” Enjolras barks over the PA. “ Just get there you degenerate mechanic.”

 

Courf fights down a smile and saunters off with an extra bounce in his step. Enjolras is clearly going to forgive him soon.

 

Marius is sitting on the table in the kitchen chewing on his fingers and bouncing a leg against one of the chairs. He makes a strange picture still in his elaborate working Outfit (Courf knows Marius well enough that he never mistakes the outfits Marius wears as himself for the ones he wears as a commodity).

 

Combeferre is watching Marius with bearly veiled alarm and looks relieved when Courf appears. Combeferre, for whatever reason, has never worked out how to deal with Marius and views him at all times the way that most men view women in the throws of hysterical tears. He feels he ought to do something to help but has absolutely no idea how to even begin or what woudl be appropriate.

 

Grantaire is lounging in one of the chairs seemingly completely unconcerned.

 

Courf throws himself into an empty chair and turns to stare expectantly at Marius.

 

“Well then?”

 

Enjolras' projection immediately flickers to life standing by the door way. He has an intent focused expression on his too perfect face.

 

“I have two passengers for you guys. If you're willing to take them.”

 

Courf and Combeferre exchange a glance. The Amis shipping conglomerate (such as it is) lives with one foot in the respectable world of middle class merchant spaces and the other firmly planted in the land of rebels, cuthroats and thieves. If Marius isn't sure whether they'll take someone on board they must be of extremely dubious character indeed.

 

“Why wouldn't we take them?” Combeferre asks.

 

Marius squarely meets his gaze. “It's one of my clients and her brother.”

 

They all wince, even the young man that Enjolras is projecting. Marius' client base consists almost entirely of small time losers who think they can be the next kingpin, merchant prince, or aristocratic ruler of their little moon. It's the curse of having prices too high to compete with a regular whore and too low to attract the upper crust.

 

“No.”

 

Courf is surprised that it's Grantaire who speaks up first.

 

“No, we're not taking on strangers- especially not if they're the sort of people who pay for the pleasure of your company.”

 

Courfeyrac winces as Marius folds in on himself. That was a low blow. It's no secret that Grantaire doesn't, strictly speaking, like people at all under any circumstances but he usually displays a certain sort of delicacy when dealing with his friends.

 

“What's the name?” Enjolras asks.

 

Marius curls even further in on himself. “Eponine and Gavroche Thenardier.”

 

There's no pause when Enjolras replies. “I vote we take them.”

 

That has them all turning to stare at Enjolras in shock. Generally speaking Enjolras does not vote in these sorts of debates. He clearly, and calmly voices his opinion but always leaves the final decision up to Combeferre.

 

He meets Courf's gaze with a defiant expression.

 

“Why do you think that?” Combeferre asks.

 

“According to police records and the records kept by Marius and the Guild, Eponine Thenardier is a very minor criminal. She has only ever visited a single Companion- namely Marius and has consistantly been making appointments with him for the last two years. None of her arrests are for anything more serious than petty theft.”

 

Courf knows he shouldn't say it. He knows it's cruel but he can't help himself. “Than how's she affording Marius? I mean I know he's steal of a deal companion wise but he's still ya know: luxury goods” he jokes.

 

There's a glacier in the look on the holoprojections face and he can practically hear Enjolras deleting every prefered setting he's entered into the ships computer in the last five years.

 

Marius licks his lips and very quietly says. “I give her a discount. I didn't want to lose my only regular”

 

And shit. Courf is scum. He is scum who just kicked a puppy. He sidles over and knocks Marius in the side with an elbow. “Hey don't sweat it. Only teasing.”

 

Marius nods jerkily and Courf throws an arm over the kid's shoulders to hug him close.

 

....

 

 

Turns out that Marius' client is someone that Courf knows pretty well, and he honestly feels a bit stupid for not putting it together before.

 

He's never met her but he- Gavroche- is a fixture of his life at Musain and the kid talks about his big sister often enough that he feels stupid for not putting it together.

 

Having them on the ship is like worlds colliding.

 

When Courfeyrac sees the way Eponine smiles as at Marius as he bounces over to wrap her in a hug he realises that this will end in tears.

 

Because if there's one thing this ship doesn't have enough of it's unrequited love.

 

Courfeyrac really hopes that the alcohol is well stocked for this trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm still alive!
> 
> This fic is still updating and I'm hoping to have it finished in the next month or so. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed hearing from Courfeyrac.


	8. Grantaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantaire finds it hard to have new people on the ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR ANXIETY AND SELF HARM.   
> Self harm is mentioned but not shown but is however thematically present.   
> Grantaire is experiencing crippling social anxiety in this chapter so PLEASE PLEASE be careful if that is something that triggers you!!!

Grantaire does not like that there are strangers on his ship. He hates it and has been avoiding them since they arrived on board.

  
  


The thing about the dark spaces between the stars is that he can be out in the black for days or weeks or months at a time and actually manage to forget that his face is ruined- forget everything he was before. Or if not forget at least not care. It's just him in the dark and in the quiet and he like it that way.

 

Well, him and Enjolras. But, Enjolras doesn't count.

 

Him and Enjolras and something that might be peace, or might be love. Out in the dark between the stars the restless energy that had Grantaire trying to scratch his way of his own skin died down a bit and he could breathe just that little bit easier. Maybe because he does have to see himself reflected in someone else's eyes. He can't stand the idea of what most people see when they look at him. With the Amis it's different somehow. They've known him long enough that they've stopped seeing him at all.

On the Apollo he doesn't have to face the pity and revulsion when strangers look at him.

The only place to escape that is in the dark between the stars.

 

But now there are strangers out here in the dark with them. People who he does not know. Does not trust. People who have only Marius's word that they are trustworthy.

And as much as Grantaire tolerates Marius and even occasionally feels mildly positive things towards him he is not the sort of person that Grantaire would say is an excellent judge of character.

Marius floats along in a strange alternate reality where the majority of people are kind and understanding. Or at least Marius believes they are. He always believes the believes the best in everyone.

  
  


Grantaire has learned that there's nothing more dangerous than that.

  
  


So, he does his best to avoid the new arrivals, which of course has the unfortunate side-effect of causing Gavroche to be deeply intrigued by him and spend an inordinate ammount of time trying to hunt Grantaire down and interrogate him.

  
  


There's only so many places a person can hide on a mid-size merchant class ship. But, Grantaire is low right now, Lower even than he normally is after being dirt-side for a while, and it's all he can do to get up in the morning and fly the damn ship. He can't bear the idea of having to deal with strangers.

  
  


Finally Grantaire calls for help. “Enjolras!” he hisses as clearly and as quietly as he can.

  
  


“Yes, Grantaire?” Enjolras responds.

  
  


“Shhh!!!! Not so loud!”

  
  


There's a long pause.

  
  


“You are not visible to my- that is: I can't see you. My sensors indicate you are in the cupboard. Are they malfunctioning?”

  
  


“NO! But, I need you to get Gavroche away from me.”

  
  


“Why?”

  
  


“PLEASE ENJOLRAS?!”

  
  


Grantaire feels the pitch of the humming of the ship change for just a second. For some reason he thinks that means that Enjolras is laughing at him.

  
  


Grantaire stays crouched in the cabinet for what feels like a very long time.

  
  


Then there's Enjolras' voice again and it's so strange because it almost sounds like he's crouched outside the door of Grantaire's cupboard.

  
  


“Mission Accomplished. If you like I could monitor his position in relation to yours at all times and warn you if he ever approaches.”

 

Grantaire leans his head agrainst the door. “Thanks Enjolras.”

  
  


There's a pause. He wonders if Enjolras is going to ask what's up with him that he's hiding in a cupboard from a 10 year old.

  
  


Instead Enjolras just says, with somehting that might be fondness: “If there's anything else I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask.”

  
  


Grantaire hugs his knees and closes his eyes trying to make himself feel that quiet soft safety of the darkness between the stars. Just him and Enjolras. Together in the void.

  
  


He knows it's pathetic and when he gets back to his room he reaches for the knife instead of the bottle. He doesn't use it. He hasn't used it on the ship ever, because Enjolras would know but wouldn't understand why. So it just holds it and grabs the bottle, too.

 

He drinks until he falls asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize for how angsty this is. Blame Grantaire. That little drama queen refuses to be happy. Also, I'm trash for not updating. I know.


	9. Enjolras (and a little bit of Grantaire)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras works something out, asks the right questions and talks to Grantaire.

Enjolras spends a lot of time watching the new passengers. He likes them, they are new and interesting and he so rarely gets the oppurtunity to talk to new and interesting people.

 

He has noticed that Eponine gets a particular look on her face whenever she speaks to Marius, or is in the same room as Marius, or hears Marius' name mentioned.

 

It reminds him of the face that Grantaire sometimes makes. The face he made what feels so long ago that had prompted Enjolras to confront Grantaire about it before his long period of silence.

 

It occurs to Enjolras that he never did get an explanation as to why Grantaire looked at him that way. He had been too disturbed and upset by the notion that his friends did not believe him to be real.

 

But, time has passed and those old wounds have mostly healed. So he goes to Courfreyac hidden away in the bowels of the space ship and he asks, “Why does Eponine look at Marius like that?”

 

He had pulled specific examples from the cameras, ready to be displayed should Courfreyac need specific examples but Courfreyac barely looks up from where he's adjusting a piece of the ventilation system.

 

“'Cause the silly girl's fallen in love with him.” He mumbles around the portable welding torch he's stuck in his mouth in order to keep both hands free.

 

Enjolras waits while Courfreyac maneuvers the tubing into position and welds it solders it into place before he asks. “Why is that? What do you mean?”

  
  


Courfreyac puts his tools down and shrugs. “I don't know _why._ I mean, it's one thing to fall in love with a companion on the job, that's like what they're designed to do, but looks to me like she isn't just in love with the person Marius is when he's on the job, she's actually in love with him, with Marius of all people.”

 

“How can you tell?”

 

Courfreyac laughs. “I dunno, man, sometimes you just know. I mean, some of us are better at telling than others. I'm pretty sure Marius has no idea that she feels that way about him.”

 

The engine room is one of the sole areas of the ship not equipped with the projectors that would allow Enjolras to send his holoprojection to sit next to Courfreyac but he wishes he could.

 

“Shouldn't you tell him that she is?”

 

Courfreyac thinks about it and the shakes his head. “Nah, I think that would crush him. She's like, his only friend outside of us.”

 

“Why would he be sad to learn that she feels that way about him?”

 

“Cause he obviously doesn't feel that way about her and so that means he'd suddenly be in a position where he feels uncomfortable since she's wanting something from him that he doesn't want to give or he's going to have to hurt her feelings by telling her he doesn't feel the same way.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Courfreyac shrugs. “Yeah. Loves's a bitch Enjolras. You're lucky you can't catch it.”

 

“You make it sound like a disease.”

 

“Hey, they say that the brain on love bears a striking resemblance to the brain on cray-cray.”

 

“Thank you Courfreyac.”

 

Courfreyac replies “Hey, anytime man.” with a smile and a vague wave already half preoccupied with something he's spied in the engine block.

 

Enjolras clicks the speaker off because he knows that the crew like to feel he has left a room, even if he's never not aware of anything that happens on his ship (Eponine for example is currently trying to steal some of the chocolate Combeferre has in the kitchen).

 

Grantaire is sitting on his bunk in his quarters. He rarely leaves them now that Eponine and Gavroch are on board. Enjolras clicks the speakers on, he knows that Grantaire has touched neither his bottle or his knife in two days.

 

Enjolras plays a knock on the door. “Grantaire, may I speak to you?”

 

Grantaire jerks and looks towards the speaker in the ceiling. “Sure, Apollo.”

 

Enjolras has his projection seem to open the door and step inside (though really the door does not move), it stands awkwardly in the room before uneasily before he has it seem to scramble up onto the bed to sit next to Grantaire.

 

“Do you remember when I asked you why you looked at this projection the way you did?”

 

Grantaire stares directly into the corner mounted camera in the ceiling when he replies. “You mean the time right before you started crying and ripping your face apart? I seem to remember something about that...”

 

Enjolras makes the projection wince. “I'm sorry about that. It wasn't fair. I should have realized how upsetting that would be for you.” A pale blue hand waves vaguely in front of a pale blue face. “What with your past experiences.”

 

“You were upset, we'd been hurtful towards you- you shouldn't be apologizing.” Grantaire swallows hard, and blinks a few times. “I thought you didn't even notice that.” His face is blushing and he looks very distressed.

 

Enjolras panics, this is not how the conversation was supposed to go. “Your nasal, left zygomatic, maxilla and mandible all show signs of severe trauma and breaks. Of course I noticed.”

 

Grantaire nods again, but Enjolras understands what Courfeyrac means, he can just tell that his words have not have the desired effect.

 

“But, that is not what I came here to speak to you about.” He has the projection maneuvre on the bed so that he is facing Grantaire, the projection appears to rest a translucent blue hand on top of Grantaire's meaty paw.

 

“I think I know now why you looked at me that way.”

 

Grantaire glances up and seems to meet that intense pale-blue gaze of the projection. In fact he looks at it in exactly the way that Enjolras had been referring to.

 

“I'm sorry.” Grantaire rasps.

 

“Don't be.” Enjolras replies. “Courfreyac said it was better not to know if someone loved you, if you weren't sure you can love them back...and I don't know if you really do love me, but it makes me happy that you do- if you do. Even if I don't know if I can love you back, or if I did what I could do about it.”

 

Grantaire smiles wryly and glances away from the handsome projection up at the camera.

 

“That's alright. It's not about any of that for me. I just feel safe, and... better when I'm with you.”

 

“I had noticed your behaviour tended to be markedly less self-destructive when I took the time to chat with you.”

 

Grantaire laughs. “Is that why you used to do that?

 

Enjolras' projection smiles brightly, and there's a sheen to it's eyes. “No, I talked to you because you would speak to me like I was real, and only after did I realize that my talking to you seemed to help.”

 

Grantaire would really like to kiss Enjolras right about now, but there's no way to snog a spaceship. If there were he'd be trying that right now.

 

He settles for smiling fit to break his face a second time. “I'm glad that you weren't just doing that because I was part of your crew.”

 

Enjolras' projection seems to sit back on it's heels. “I was doing it because you are part of my crew. It's not like I can talk to anyone else very easily, so I'd just speak to whoever was free. But I'd talk about different things with each of you. You all matter tremendously to me”

 

Grantaire is smiling at the projection, and it's like all those other covert looks times a googleplex. Enjolras suddenly and fiercely wants nothing so much as he wants Grantaire to keep smiling.

 

“I feel like we haven't talked in a while, but I'm worried I'll fall asleep.” Grantaire murmurs.

 

Enjolras' projection grins, and Grantaire realises that it's the first time he's seen that expression and he's pretty sure that Enjolras stole it from Marius' goofy non-Companion sanctioned grins that occasionally sneak out when he's excited about something.

Grantaire gingerly lies down on his bed so that he doesn't accidentally slide through Enjolras' projection.

 

Enjolras' projection seems to lie down next to him, Grantaire rolls over so he's staring up at the ceiling.

 

He still can't stop smiling.

 

“You know I used to have dreams about this?” he says.

 

“About what?” asks Enjolras

 

“About just you and me and the black and feeling like maybe things are going to be okay.”

 

The projection seems to prop itself up on an elbow. “I can't fix you Grantaire. I hope you realize that this probably won't make things easier for you.”

 

“Life may not get easier, but I think this will make things a tiny better.”

 

“Even if I don't know if I can love you?”

 

“It's enough that maybe you're willing to try.”

 

Grantaire glances over at the projection and then shoots a smile to the camera.

 

Enjolras feels happy. He asks, “Have I told you about the uprising on the second moon of Capua? It's being brutally oppressed...”

 

“Nah, but I'd love to hear about it.”

 

Enjolras can feel the Apollo spinning through the dark void of space, but he's not out there in the cold and dark, he's in here with someone who wants to hear him speak and who may love him and a crew of people who know he's real. He can feel that Courfreyac has fixed a small inefficiency in the ventilation system, Gavroche has broken into one of the storage lockers and Combeferre is correcting their course in response to a message he's received from the net. 

 

Enjolras can't dream but he thinks that if he did thinks they'd look like moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly hadn't realised how long it had been since I updated this story and for that I'm really sorry. 
> 
> It's just hard to work out how to resolve romantic tension between man and space ship. 
> 
> Anyway, if anyone's been waiting for this I hope you enjoyed it.


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